Who am I?
Assertiveness is also very difficult for the child with no real place, it is very difficult to occur except through his understanding of what it should be. He does not claim much, is almost never applicant. He knows he must slip into the costume narrow that sadly has crafted for him, otherwise it will become a stranger. There is no space for contestation, which would be immediately suppressed, and violently repressed. The child receives early in this simulacrum of balance, intolerance of its parent to all forms of difference to anything that does not resemble her. The singularity is taboo.
The discreet but real dictatorship leaves room obviously no room for discussion, exchange of points of view, since nothing is risking to threaten the established order and a sense of omnipotence that defends against the perverse and narcissistic any cons.The child also knows that he can live free, for now he must be silent if he will not be dismissed or face to face his parent to his own nothingness. It does not prevent head-on narcissistic pervert, he often takes refuge in silence, which earned him then be defined as a well-behaved child, a child model that adding a new luster in spite of himself the emblem of narcissism the parent, who, incapable of any empathy, at no time does the artificial makes this attitude.
This silencing any locks in the child verbalize feelings and emotions. The word with the perverse narcissist does revolves around discussions where emotions are reflected not only because they are dangerous for him, might weaken, making it vulnerable to losing its power. His speech, often imbued with a culture under protective, is still serious. " His speech, his thought, must occupy the entire space, so that other than their emotions.Here, we do not effused, we reason. Here, we do not live, you die.
An island in the midst of people
The burden borne by the child's narcissistic pervert has an impact on its relations with the outside world.
In terms of relationships, child in his family shows a high stiffness vis-à-vis the physical contact. The few hugs with the parent are not warm, as if the child is preserved in an unconscious way, a dangerous infection. In everyday life, this physical contact is kept to a minimum, as if to put as much distance between life and death. Note that the narcissistic parent is not him either prone to physical contact.
Socially, it will not be easy for the child to make connections with others. To have lived with a relative intolerance to any difference in the trial and consistently concerned about the appearance he has made it difficult to spontaneity and integration into any one group: the time it will be necessary.
The child of narcissistic pervert, who has learned to survive the tragedy of pretense, has always had in him the insight and very early he would escape the trap of its parent and find that, outside the earth he must conquer in order to live free (unless the manipulations show the outside world as dangerous, in which case it will be caught in a net of contradictions unconscious rather chilling).
Though older, he "knows" he is a survivor, he has missed what could have been buried alive, make silent or worse. That is why they sometimes live rabies pegged to the soul, rage to exist, to say, to say, and especially to share, send. In this duel ultra sophisticated, the perverse narcissist is unable to bring the voice of her child in check, nor wealth, nor his heat.
The vast solitude in which he has been living for years has created a sense of strength and independence, even if it takes time to reveal itself. He grew up alone, became strong and hungry for freedom, he who has been in prison. He will enjoy life in a way that certainly displease his parents, confronted with his own emptiness and its distressing inconsistency. Such is the fate of a child managed to make his suffering the artwork of his life.
However, not every child, before the tragedy of having a parent narcissistic pervert, this potential for struggle and survival. For the majority of them, full of suffering certain symptoms are expressed very early: aggression, night terrors, eating disorders, psychosomatisations, allergies ... All these events express a desire to be loved, watched and heard. Tyrannical, angry, aggressive ... No, it is not temperamental. But in revolt.
In the familial pervert's narcissism, one finds that the child was soon designated as the heir of the parent perverse. He who, generally, is the favorite of the latter, as though he readily acknowledged that would be worthy of him "succeed". Then gradually, a perverse spider weaves.
